THREE CAPTIVES NEARLY MISTAKEN FOR GYRO MEAT

October 22nd, 2013

Three men were discovered in the kitchen freezer of Starlight Lounge on East 55th Street in Little Athens. Their legs were bound but their hands were free to allow themselves to feed off frozen meat. It is unclear how long they may have been there or who may have captured them there. The Daily Mobster asked Nikko Papageorgio, the owner and manager of the Starlight Lounge how the men got there. His only comment was, “It gets hot around here, maybe they wanted to cool off.” When pressed further for his employee records and a timeline of how long they may have been there he only responded, “How should I know? My eyesight is not so good, I could have easily mistaken them for a side of beef. Let’s be glad they didn’t end up in the gyros today.”

DMPD has yet to release the names of the victims but when asked who had done this heinous act to them the journalist was met with a cold shoulder and an icy tone. A response is expected when their windpipes thaw.

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